zach

i can feel it
your exit says it all
i can see it
the back of your head
through the smudged glass
of a window in which you've disappeared
as you become smaller
against the horizon
i can hear it
your wet steps
and your sigh of relief
no more dealing with it
no more grief
i can taste it
your lips on a bottle
picking up the throttle
no small death from you
but there is more to life
than to arrive
there is so much
to be said about staying
which you will not
do not
want to
why not?
thousands
or naughts
i do not know what to think
of the best years of my life
how can i classify them
if they have not a name
everyone can get behind
as you were
behind me
then front and stopped
and then you left
and have left
and will come back
but only abstractly
and for your things
and as the door continues to shut
and as the door continues to slam
i wonder what it would feel like
if you never were here in the first place
and sincerely it feels cold
and looks lonely
because it would have been
but in all honesty
it would have been better
better that i not to have
a you shaped hole
in my heart
or would i not?
you were the best that
i could have hoped for
and as i open the door
i can smell it
you are still here
you are still near
you are always dear
but you are so far away
and i wonder
if you were ever there
and when i'll get to see you
again